My Assignment: To Save The World

As I dove deeply into my memories of adventures of the past, I feel as if I am reliving everything in the present.

I feel young again!

“The food stains?” “I got this one during the year (Classified), when I was assigned by MI6 on an important mission – once again, the fate of the world depended on my being successful. My job was to find the infamous terrorist Ilich Ramírez Sánchez, aka Carlos ‘The Jackal’ to upend his business of secretly funding ‘The Ghosts of Beirut’ led by the infamous Lebanese terrorist – Imad Mughniyeh”. He was known affectionately by those closest to him as “Mugs or Muggsy.”

My undercover operatives informed me that Imad and his merry band of pranksters were planning a mission to bring down the United States. I studied the Dossiers of these two titans of terror; singularly, the terror and devastation they caused were horrific & prolific; If these mongrels of mayhem ever formed an alliance then the fate of the world was truly in peril.

I learned that ‘The Jackal’, despite his extreme youth, had a reputation of being as brilliant as he was ruthless; so pitiless, he was willing to sexually seduce men and women alike to achieve his evil agendas before killing them.

Imad “Mugs” Mughniyeh was especially pesky – he had eluded the CIA and Mossad for over two decades, and therefore, I was sent to dry up their funding and put them out of business.

My best operatives and closest friend – Miss Piggy, told me where I needed to go and what I had to do.

I was instructed to go to the Venetian Macao in Macau and play Baccarat against their banker aka ‘The Jackal’ with the sole purpose of bankrupting the house, thereby putting the kibosh on his ability to fund the ‘The Ghosts’.

There was one slight hitch… I had never played Baccarat prior to that night, so I went and purchased, ‘Baccarat for Dummies’, one quick perusal, and I felt like I had it mastered – more or less. (I hate to admit it, but I dozed off and on a few times on the bus ride to the casino while reading the book). I would have to wing it.

I decided to dress for the occasion in my favorite attire; which tastefully provided the impeccable combination of elegant formality & casual utility; a tailored peach-colored linen sports jacket with one of my favorite tee-shirts underneath; a pair of sandstone colored chino style trousers by Carhartt tailored exclusively me – sexy, but rugged enough to climb mountains; a pair snuggly & toasty warm leopard-print bikini underwear fresh from the dryer to comfortably support my treasured parts; my favorite pair of ‘five-fingered’ Vibram shoes in case I needed to be light on my feet, and those occasions I was faced with occupational hazards and a necessity of extreme traction when I needed to scale a skyscraper or a suspension bridge; and one Casio watch I got for $9.99 at Pep Boys.

I felt ready to take on any challenge.